


Scarves

by leonheart2012



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, M/M, Mentions of self-harm, References to Abuse, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 02:29:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12666420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonheart2012/pseuds/leonheart2012
Summary: (Okay, I know Isaac was the one to wear scarves, but I've changed it up)Brett's new at school, but he gets annoyed when he sees another kid wearing a scarf in the middle of summer and wants to know why.





	1. First Day

Wearing scarves should not ever be a fashion statement. It’s official now. My first day at school and one guy tries to out-new me by wearing an out-of-season scarf – complete with snowflakes, even. Well, I had to go up and talk to this kid, because of course I did. First day of term and he’s wearing outrageous winter shit – of course I talked to him. (It definitely had nothing to do with how cute he was.)

 

I asked him what he was wearing the scarf for, and he was so lying when he told me it was because he was cold. He’s so short, though. Maybe he really _was_ cold?

 

Okay, there’s no way he’s just cold. He took off his ‘seasonal jacket’ (which was clearly not made for this season), and he’s sweating, but he still doesn’t take it off. What the hell is wrong with this kid?

I asked him again, and he just got pissy with me. Why? What’s going on?

 

Liam – that’s his name. He wasn’t very forthcoming on who he was for some reason. It seemed as though he expected something from me, some sort of reaction. Even stranger, he seemed happy when I didn’t have that expected that reaction. Just what the hell is going on with this guy?

 

Well, not a bad first day all in all. Liam’s in a few of my classes, as are a few other cute people. Mom asked me about it, of course, even though I’m sixteen now and can take care of myself.

 

 

Nightmares again. I hope they don’t continue all year. Public schools are terrible.

 

A scarf again. What the hell is with the scarves? The only thing I can think of is crazy hickeys.

 

 

<Audio file 157_Brett_03.12.17>

**LIAM** : What’s up?

**BRETT** : I just wanted to ask-

**LIAM** : Fuck off, Brett.

**BRETT** : Are they hickeys? On your neck?

**LIAM** : …Yeah. Why?

**BRETT** : I could show you some make-up techniques to cover them up, you know? Well, I just mean…those scarves can’t be very comfortable, especially in this weather.

**LIAM** : Could you do that without looking at them? They’re embarrassing.

**BRETT** : I…I guess you could just look it up on YouTube?

**LIAM** : Okay. Thanks. I’ll do that.

**BRETT** : All good. What class have you got next?

<End audio file 157_Brett_03.12.17>

 

I’ve been watching him and yeah, that might be a bit creepy but he’s interesting. Some things I’ve noticed that he does are as follows; he always focuses just ahead of what he’s reading, meaning he can’t in some way; he always starts walking with his left foot, as though he’s been in a marching band at some point; he always washes up to his elbows so he’s either a germophobe or knows something about kitchens or medicine that no one else at school does. Everything he does just fascinates me. I want to know who he is.

 

Wow, okay. I asked around and found out who he is, and oh my god! Liam…Dunbar. Otherwise known as the kid adopted by the super-duper famous Dr Geyer who only owns like four hospitals in the state! No wonder he expected a certain reaction from me. But he doesn’t have to worry. I won’t respond the way he thinks; I won’t ask him for anything, won’t freak out at all.

 

<Audio file 158_Brett_03.17.17>

**BRETT** : Hey, Liam.

**LIAM** : (sigh) Hi, Brett. What’s up?

**BRETT** : You okay?

**LIAM** : Just a bad day. How about you?

**BRETT** : Not much going on, really. Lots of homework, though. Maybe you’d like to come over, do some with me?

**LIAM** : Really? Not too busy or anything? Have you even checked with your parents?

**BRETT** : Honestly, I think they’d burst with relief if I finally brought home a friend.

**LIAM** : Friend?

**BRETT** : (chuckle) You have had one before, right, Liam?

**LIAM** : Oh, yeah, sure, I just didn’t…didn’t really think we’d known each other long enough yet.

**BRETT** : How long do you have to know someone in order for them to be a friend?

**LIAM** : I don’t know…

**BRETT** : Mom will be picking me up at four today, she works late. Come to the library after school if you want to come.

(footsteps recede)

**LIAM** : (whispers) Sure…

<End audio file 158_Brett_03.17.17>

 

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, he’s here! I’m totally falling for this kid and it’s almost pissing me off. He’s unbearably cute, and now I find out he’s the sole heir to his dad’s mega company? Holy shit. Someone’s gonna have to hold me back from jumping this kid right here and now. Is he even gay? Bisexual? I’d settle for a little curious.

Okay, holding a conversation…

 

<Audio file 158_Brett_CONT.03.17.17>

**LIAM** : Hey, my mom said I could come.

**BRETT** : That’s great. Did you want to get started now?

**LIAM** : Ugh, do we have to? Mom was so excited you’d think I was voluntarily doing housework. Honestly, it was pretty embarrassing.

**BRETT** : No, we don’t have to. But it’d be pretty boring if we just sat here and did nothing.

**LIAM** : Wouldn’t it be even more boring to be doing homework?

**BRETT** : Hmm, I don’t think so. Mom taught me this technique when I was younger. I could never sit still long enough to do it, so she engaged my imagination. Make the problems funny. Three rabbits eat four carrots evenly. With no knives or concept of math, how do they work it out?

**LIAM** : That’s not funny, that’s just cute.

**BRETT** : It was funny to me. I suppose it’s not that funny, but I’d always laugh.

**LIAM** : Sorry. Didn’t mean to be sour about it.

**BRETT** : Bad day, right?

**LIAM** : Yeah.

**BRETT** : That’s her. (further away) Hey mom, it alright if Liam comes with us?

**BRETT’S MOM** : Of course! Come over here so I can get a good look at you! (closer) Oh, look, he’s so cute!

**BRETT** : Mom!

**BRETT’S MOM** : Oh, hush! Hop in, dear, we’ll be home in no time!

**LIAM** : (mumbles) Thanks. Um, what do I call you?

**BRETT’S MOM** : …Whatever you want, I guess, as long as it’s not rude.

**LIAM** : I’m sure I’ll find something.

**BRETT’S MOM** : Good. Now, are you boys hungry?

<End audio file 158_Brett_CONT.03.17.17>

 

Ugh, remind me to NEVER invite anyone over ever again. That was so embarrassing. When did mom get this weird? Maybe she’s just happy after…yeah, that’s gotta be it.

 

Who on earth made homework when there were so many distractions? Or rather – one very attractive distraction? Why did I ask him over to do HOMEWORK? Why not play video games or something? There has to be something better than this.

Dinner is a saving grace. Maybe we can switch tasks after, if he doesn’t have to go home.

 

<Audio file 159_Brett’s family_03.17.17>

**BRETT’S DAD** : So, Liam, why the scarf?

**LIAM** : I just really like them.

**BRETT’S DAD** : Even in this weather?

**LIAM** : They’re comfy.

**BRETT** : I think they look good on you.

**LIAM** : Thanks, Brett.

**BRETT’S MOM** : Okay, stop flirting you two. Finish up and we’ll all have a game of cards after we wash up.

**BRETT** : We’re not flirting, mom!

(laughter)

<DELETED AUDIO>

**LIAM** : Why did you do that?

**BRETT** : Do what?

**LIAM** : Say they looked good on me? My scarves?

**BRETT** : Oh, that. Well…Liam, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I know you’re wearing them for a reason. Whatever it is, I know it can’t be good either. And I am curious, I am, but maybe you need to trust me more before you tell me, or maybe you need some time to figure it out…whatever it is, I assure you that I’m here to help, and I’ll give you the space to figure it out on your own. Do what you need to.

**LIAM** : I…wow. Thanks, Brett. Really. Everyone’s just been so nosy about it, only wanting to know for the sake of knowing, you know?

**BRETT** : I get that. (door opens) I’ll see you tomorrow? At school?

**LIAM** : Yeah…

**BRETT** : Something wrong?

**LIAM** : Huh? Oh, no, just…say thanks to your mom for me. That was really nice. Um…and…thank you for inviting me over.

**BRETT** : No problem. I’m sure you’re welcome anytime.

**LIAM** : Thanks.

(door closes)

<End audio file 159_Brett’s family_03.17.17>


	2. How Did They Not Notice?

<Audio file 160_Liam_03.17.17>

 **LIAM** : (sigh) Another night in an empty house. Where even are you guys? (light switches on) Right, another note on the fridge. ‘Sorry we couldn’t be home again, honey. Dinner in the fridge, see you tomorrow.’ (paper crumples) Well, I guess it’s good I already had dinner, right mom? When did you stop saying ‘love mom’ at the end anyway?

(chair scrapes) How is this better than before anyway? And missed calls. Great. Just the people I want to hear from.

(voicemail clicks)

 **MOM** : Hey honey, just checking you’re doing alright. Please call me back when you can. Love you, bye.

 **DAD** : Hi, Liam, mom said you hadn’t called yet. We’re getting worried.

 **MASON** : Hey man, I thought you said we were going to have a chat tonight? Well, I’m going to bed now, so you missed your chance. Talk to you later, I guess.

 **MOM** : Alright, I have no idea where you are so…so…you’re grounded, Liam. Just call me, please?

 **LIAM** : (sighs) Hi mom. You said to call, so here I am. I did try to call you before, but I just got your voicemail. I left a message too, and if you’d listened to it, you would have known I was at a friend’s. It was really great, actually, not eating dinner alone. Maybe we could try it sometime.

(front door opens)

 **MOM** : Oh, honey, there you are! What are you doing up so late? Where were you?

 **LIAM** : If you listened to your voicemail, maybe you’d know. Or if you answered your phone. Ever. (chair scrapes) Goodnight mom.

 **MOM** : Did you eat? Get your homework done?

 **LIAM** : Goodnight mom.

<BREAK IN RECORDING>

(door opens slowly)

 **MOM** : Liam?

 **LIAM** : Goodnight mom. Or are you here to tuck me in?

 **MOM** : It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Since we’ve done anything like we used to? I’m sorry it seems like we’re never here –

 **LIAM** : You _are_ never here, mom. Both of you. I thought having a step-dad was going to mean _more_ time with my parents, not less.

 **MOM** : I know, and I’m sorry. I really am. I promise –

 **LIAM** : No, don’t do that. Don’t make a promise and then never do it.

 **MOM** : Well, you’re ungrounded, at any rate. We’ll do something together. Soon. Maybe. No, definitely. I’ll make time.

 **LIAM** : Don’t worry about it.

 **MOM** : No, you’re right, Liam. We should be here for you. We’re missing you growing up. I’m sorry.

 **LIAM** : Love you mom.

 **MOM** : Love you too, Liam. Goodnight.

 **LIAM** : Goodnight.

<End audio file 160_Liam_03.18.17>

 

That was such a success I’m scared to do it again in case I ruin it. Liam had a good time, I seemed to get even more in his good books, and everything’s going just great. I’ve realised that I’ve made no other friends, but that’s okay, I’m sure Liam has some he could introduce me to.

 

I wonder where Liam is. He hasn’t been seen at school all day. Maybe he got sick? Where does he even live?

I should stop worrying about him anyway. No way is he going to tell me about those scarves anytime soon. Maybe someone else wants to be friendly?

 

Wow, plenty of friendly people here – if by friendly you mean nosy. Why do they all have to ask?

 

<Audio file 161_Liam_03.18.17>

 **LIAM** : Mom, what are we doing? We’ll be late for school.

 **MOM** : Yep, that’s the plan. Told them you were sick today. We’re going to have some fun!

 **LIAM** : Mom…okay.

 **MOM** : Thank you. Don’t worry, you’re still getting top grades, aren’t you?

 **LIAM** : Yeah, but shouldn’t I still go to school?

 **MOM** : Oh, come on. What kind of teenager actually wants to go to school, Liam? Just let me take you out to have some fun.

 **LIAM** : What kind of fun are we talking about?

 **MOM** : Only the best. I’ve got a whole day planned.

 **LIAM** : A whole day? But don’t you have to be at the office?

 **MOM** : Liam, if you’re so sure you don’t want to do this, you could have just said –

 **LIAM** : No, I want to, I just…this doesn’t make all those nights alone go away, mom. And it doesn’t do much to make it better. I mean…what’s my favourite colour?

 **MOM** : Blue, like it’s always been, right?

 **LIAM** : Alright, fine. Favourite video game?

 **MOM** : And how would I know that?

 **LIAM** : By walking into my room with the light on? I have the stuff everywhere. Posters, bedsheets, everything.

 **MOM** : Okay, so tell me. I want to know.

 **LIAM** : Then tell me about you. I want to know who you are, mom. Other than just my mother. I used to bake cakes with you. We used to play cards and have play battles in the living room. I _miss_ you.

 **MOM** : I’m sorry, Liam. I really am, but we’re trying. Both of us. You’re doing such a good job, honey. You clean up so well after yourself, you eat well…I think…okay, maybe that was a bad example, but my point is that you’re not a bad son for wanting to spend time with us. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how much you beat yourself up over missing us. It’s okay, and I know it’s our fault for not being there. I’m sorry we’re both so busy. Tell you what, we’re going to try to have one of us home every night, and you can spend one-on-one time with us. How does that sound?

 **LIAM** : Pretty good. Can I go to school now please?

 **MOM** : You really want to go?

 **LIAM** : Yes, mom. I do.

<End audio file 161_Liam_03.18.17>  


Liam’s here – finally. Said he just wasn’t feeling well this morning. He looks both sad and happy, though, like something good happened, but he’s not sure how he feels about it. I’m so confused. What’s going on with him?

I talked to him again, but he’s still not saying anything. I’m actually getting really worried about him. What if it’s really bad? Oh man, what should I do?

 

I called mom, and she said to just leave him to it. She sounded worried, though. Should I be worried too? God, I’m freaking out. This is not going how I’d hoped.

 

<Audio file 162_Liam_03.18.17>

 **LIAM** : This is not at all going how I’d hoped. I just wanted them to _notice._ How did it all get so out of hand? I’m not going to do it anymore. I can’t. I almost bled in class, I was picking at it so much. Fuck. How did they not notice?

<End audio file 162_Liam_03.18.17>

 

“How did they not notice?” I heard Liam talking to himself in the bathroom, but that’s all I heard. It’s not like I meant to hear anything either. I just walked in to wash my hands after lunch and I heard him. I hope he’s not doing anything stupid.

He’s probably doing something stupid, though. How could he not be? Wearing a scarf that he won’t let anyone see underneath? Something’s not right. Someone needs to know.

No, I told him I’d let him figure it out on his own. If it gets worse, I’ll tell.

 

<Audio file 174_Liam_03.25.17>

 **LIAM** : It’s getting worse. They still haven’t shown up once this week. It’s spread beyond just my neck. All down my arms…I’ve been getting deeper, too. How did it get this bad? Should I tell someone? It hurts. It hurts so bad.

 **MASON** : (distant) Liam? You here?

 **LIAM** : Sorry, you should probably go home, Mace. I’m pretty sick.

 **MASON** : (closer, door creaks open) Liam, man, you okay? I haven’t heard from you in days. Is anything going on?

 **LIAM** : No, nothing’s happening. I’m just…sick.

 **MASON** : Right…well, you know I don’t believe you. You can tell me if something’s going on, you know?

 **LIAM** : I know. Thanks.

 **MASON** : Alright, well…feel better soon. I miss you.

 **LIAM** : I miss you too.

<End audio file 174_Liam_03.25.17>

 

Things are getting worse. I know they are. He looks sad all the time. Huge bags sit under his eyes, and he stares off into space all the time. We’ve become better friends, but he still keeps his distance. I need to tell someone, but I need to talk to him about it first. Thing is, anytime I bring it up, he always shuts off. Come on, Liam. You can do better than this.

 

<Audio file 177_Brett_03.29.17>

 **BRETT** : Liam, can I talk to you without you running away, please?

 **LIAM** : That depends on what you want to talk about.

 **BRETT** : You know what I want to talk about.

 **LIAM** : Then no, I won’t stay to talk about it.

 **BRETT** : Can you at least listen, then? Please, Liam?

 **LIAM** : (sigh) Alright. Fine. Whatever.

 **BRETT** : Thank you. (deep breath) Look, I know that something’s going on, and really, I don’t care what it is, but I know it’s getting worse. I’ve been…not ‘watching you’ but –

 **LIAM** : But watching me. _Observing me_. Yeah, I noticed, Brett. You’re not exactly good at hiding it. Neither are you good at hiding your worries. Any time I turn to look at you, you have that expression on your face.

 **BRETT** : Okay, then how about this…I know who your dad is.

 **LIAM** : Is that meant to scare me?

 **BRETT** : No, it’s meant to let you see that I really don’t care. I know who your dad is, and I didn’t say anything, I didn’t treat you any different…Liam, if something’s happening, I won’t tell anyone else, you don’t even have to tell _me_ …I can see I’m losing you, aren’t I?

 **LIAM** : Yeah, and pretty quickly.

 **BRETT** : Okay. You’re… _hurting_ , aren’t you?

 **LIAM** : What do you mean?

 **BRETT** : …Like…like…physically _hurting_ yourself…

 **LIAM** : Fuck you, Brett.

<End audio file 177_Brett_03.29.17>

 

Well, that didn’t go to plan.


	3. Chapter 3

<Audio file 179_Theo_03.31.17>

**THEO** : Well hello there short stuff. What can I do for you?

**LIAM** : Don’t act like you don’t know why I’m here.

**THEO** : Oh, I know why you’re here. You just have to ask for it.

**LIAM** : I know you’ve been trying to get me here for ages.

**THEO** : True. But I have so many things you could be coming to me for. Weed, but that’s boring. I don’t want you here for that. Maybe something a little stronger? Maybe you need a bottle of alcohol or a packet of cigarettes? Or maybe you’re here for something else…something you only hear rumours about…something you’ve wanted for a long time, Liam. Something you wouldn’t have to pay me –

**LIAM** : Just name the price for a bottle of Jack, Theo.

**THEO** : (tongue click) Boring. You know, that’s very disappointing, Liam. (silence) (sigh) Fine. Hundred.

**LIAM** : Are you kidding me? That’s ridiculous.

**THEO** : Well, I’d give it to you for free if you just –

**LIAM** : Good bye, Theo.

**THEO** : Wait! Just a kiss? Please? You being straight would be such a waste…

(footsteps, Theo calls)

<End audio file 179_Theo_03.31.17>

 

I haven’t seen Liam in about a week. I have no idea what’s been going on with him, and I don’t know why he’s not here. I asked the office, and they said he went on holiday somewhere with his family. What the hell? Does anyone even know where he is?

 

<Audio file 182_Theo_04.06.17>

**THEO** : Hiya, Liam.

**LIAM** : Fuck off, Theo.

**THEO** : Oh, but don’t you want to know why I’m here?

**LIAM** : No.

**THEO** : Are you sure?

**LIAM** : (sigh) Alright, fine. Why are you here Theo? And don’t beat around the bush or I’ll beat _you_ around the bush.

**THEO** : Alright. I know why you _really_ came to me last week, Liam.

**LIAM** : Oh really?

**THEO** : Yes really. I know you came to ask about Brett.

**LIAM** : Then can you tell me anything about him?

**THEO** : Is my name Theo Raeken?

**LIAM** : Just tell me what you got.

**THEO** : Oh no, you’ve got to pay first.

**LIAM** : How about I pay you with my fist, Theo?

**THEO** : You wouldn’t dare. You know I’d get you back tenfold.

**LIAM** : (sigh) What do you want?

**THEO** : A kiss for my troubles. (long silence) Oh, come on, you know I could ask for more…much more.

**LIAM** : Get your lecherous eyes off me, asshole. I’ll ask him myself.

**THEO** : And what if he doesn’t talk? My price won’t always be so low.

**LIAM** : I can handle my own curiosity, Theo. Unlike you.

<End audio log 182_Theo_04.06.17>

 

There was a knock on my door, so I went down to see who it could possibly be this late, and nearly had a heart attack when I saw it was Liam.

“Liam? What are you doing here? Where have you been? Are you hurt?”

“Which one do you want me to answer first?” He asked with a kind of half-smirk that drove me crazy. How could he be so calm?

I tried to calm myself down by taking deep breaths. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. A little hungry, probably very smelly, but okay.” His smile was sad then, and I felt bad for being angry with him.

“Right…” I mumbled. “Do you have a change of clothes? You can shower here.”

“Thanks,” he replied with a blush as he ducked past me and asked where the bathroom was.

I’m on my bed now, waiting for him to be finished. Maybe he’ll even tell me where he was, what he was doing.

 

He was wearing that damned scarf again. As soon as he came out, it was on. I wasted no time in checking his arms, and was even more worried when he let me do it.

“What happened to you?”

Liam shrugged. “Nothing. I’ve been wandering. Found myself here. Don’t know why.”

“Do your parents know where you are?”

My only answer is him glaring at me.

After a long, tense silence, I sighed. “Cards?”

“Sure.” His voice was almost flat, but he had seemed to perk up a little now that we weren’t talking about him.

Halfway through the first round of five hundred, he spoke. “Theo dropped by for a visit. I don’t know how he found me but…anyway.” He seemed to shiver just at the thought of Theo. I could understand; he’d hung around my school too, looking to sell everything illegal to under 21s, including sex.

He was also the town gossip. My hands went cold. “Did he say anything about me?”

Liam looked at me sharply. After a few seconds, his gaze softened. “He wanted to sell me some info about you, but…I’ll never pay his price.”

“Sex?”

His gaze hardened again. “How would you know?”

I shrugged. “Well, you’re not unattractive, he’s gay and it’s not beneath him. Besides, I know him…well…he’s been snooping around since he was five years old. Everyone knows that.”

“Sorry, I…he’s been trying to get me naked for years.” He looked down at his cards, then threw them down on the bed. “Can we do something else?”

“Did you want to watch something?” I gesture to my collection of DVDs.

“You don’t have Netflix?”

I swallowed; everyone always asks that. “Nah.” I said eventually, not wanting him to know that mom could barely afford to send Lori and me to school and put food on the table.

He turned to me, a funny look on his face. “Maybe something else?”

“I have books.” I said, standing and going to my bookshelves that we bought second-hand last year. It was mostly stuffed with textbooks from previous years, but it also had some of my most precious books, yellowed and stuck together with tape.

Liam pulled out one of my old textbooks. “I remember this one.” He said, smiling. “That year, I was in with the popular crowd. God, I hated it. I was only there because of my dad. They thought…well…” The smile slipped from his face.

“Is there any memory that makes you happy?” I asked, desperate for that smile to stay on his face.

He shrugged. “Are there any that do that for you?”

“Plenty.” I pulled out a drawer filled with photographs that I’d taken. None of them had frames; we couldn’t afford even that luxury. I found one of when Lori and I had dug a sandpit in our backyard. “We got in so much trouble for that.”

Liam smiled as I showed him. “This is your sister?”

“Yeah, but she’s out of town at the moment. She stayed at our old school. My aunt lives out there, takes care of her.”

“Oh. I would have liked to meet her.” Liam sounded disappointed.

“I’m sure you will sometime.” I reassured him. “Don’t be surprised if my parents ask you over for Christmas.”

The smile slipped from his face, replaced with a scowl. “Yeah, well, don’t be surprised if I accept.” Liam replied, surprising me.

“What does that mean?”

Liam shrugged, but his face was still stormy. “Don’t worry about it.”

A long silence stretched between us. “Liam, Theo doesn’t come looking for people unless they’ve gone looking for him. I know that. So…”

“I did…go looking for him, but not for that. He thought that the reason I gave him for going was bullshit, which it was, but not for that. I was going to ask him to do something for me, but…” Liam shook his head.

“What did you want him to do?”

Liam seemed to shrink into himself. “Can you show me the homework I missed?”

“Sure.”

 

Down in the dining room, Liam fidgeted with the pages of my notebook instead of paying attention. “Liam, can you read?”

“What? Of course I can.”

“Then read this sentence.” I pointed to the first sentence on the page.

Liam squinted at it, then widened his eyes. “’When dividing…two numbers…the…’” He sat back and put pressure on his forehead. “It hurts.”

“You’re dyslexic, aren’t you?”

Sighing, Liam nodded. “It’s not like I can do anything about it.”

“I know. I’m guessing that you record all of the lessons, don’t you?” A nod. “And conversations?” Another nod. “But you can’t study?”

“I study by listening to the lessons again.”

“Do the teachers know?”

Liam hesitated before shaking his head. It was a guess, but based on the fact that the teachers assigned chapters for reading, I took that chance. “Then come here after school, I’ll read the chapters to you.”

“Really?”

“Really, really.” I said, smiling. Finally, something was making him happy.

Liam jumped from his seat, startling me. “I should go home!” He said quickly. “See you tomorrow!” He called as he left and shut the front door.

“Okay…”

 

<Audio file 183_Mom_04.07.17>

**LIAM** : Oh my God, best day ever! Even with Theo being a slime ball. If I hadn’t left, I probably would have kissed him, I was so happy. Okay, gotta calm myself. How do I get home from here even? Do I dare call mom or dad? (deep breath) I dare…

Hi mom.

**MOM** : Liam, you are so grounded! Where were you! Are you okay? Is anybody with you? Where are you now? Are you hurt? Do you need to be taken to the hospital? Why did you run away? Or were you kidnapped? Oh, god were you kidnapped?

**LIAM** : Mom, mom, it’s okay. I’m safe. Let me just see where I am…

<DELETED AUDIO>

**MOM** : …were so worried about you. We didn’t know if you were even alive…if you were staying with a friend – hey, are you listening to me, Liam?

**LIAM** : Mom, do you remember what you said two weeks ago?

**MOM** : What? What do you mean?

**LIAM** : Two weeks ago. In the car. You’d taken me out of school. Do you remember?

**MOM** : …No…wait, yes. Oh. Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.

**LIAM** : It’s okay, I get it, you’re busy. I just want to know one thing, mom. How long did it take for you to notice that I was gone? (long pause) That’s what I thought.

<End audio file 183_Mom_04.07.17>


	4. Close Encounters of the Emotional Kind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, quite a bit of emotional stuff going on in this chapter. Careful reading.

<Audio file 184_Liam_04.07.17>

 **LIAM** : Well, it’s just as I suspected; they didn’t even notice until…well, I don’t know when, but does it even matter? They said they’d be around more. Why weren’t they? What happened to ‘I love you’? Why do I even bother? It’s clear they don’t care. Maybe I should run away for real.

<End audio file 184_Liam_04.07.17>

 

I was so relieved when I saw Liam at school today. He left my house so happy…you’d think he’d never even had a friend before…maybe he hasn’t…

 

I decided to go and talk to Theo. That bastard. He asked me if I had come for sex…because of course he did.

“Shut up, Theo.” I said as I pushed him up against the wall. “Tell me what you were going to tell Liam.”

“Oh, got a little crush, do we?”

“No, I just want to know what information you’re willing to sell. You know almost nothing about me anyway.”

“Oh really?” His eyes were wide and innocent. It made me want to punch him unconscious.

Instead, I only scowled at him. “Really.”

“Well, I guess one of us has to be wrong…” He pushed me back. “I know that you have a problematic little sister…”

I narrowed my eyes; there was no way he knew that.

“I also know why you left your previous school.” That wasn’t surprising. “I know poor mommy and daddy struggle to put food on the table…”

I forced him back into the wall, slamming him as hard as I could. “Shut your mouth, Theo.”

“Oooh, struck a nerve, have I?”

“Nobody knows that.”

Theo tilted his head and shrugged. “Clearly not true. I also happen to know you’re queer.”

I made my face carefully blank. I hadn’t told anybody but my closest friends and my parents. Not everyone around here was accepting of that kind of trait.

Theo smiled, but there was no mirth behind it. It was 100% predatory, and it made my skin crawl. “Very good, Brett. Very good indeed. But you and I both know that’s true, no matter how stoic you become. Lastly, a little bird told me something _very_ interesting…you’re a virgin.”

I sighed, not willing to argue any of those points. “That doesn’t answer my question, Theo. What were you going to tell him?”

Theo shrugged again. “Well, I don’t know. That’s…one…two…three…four…five little facts about you, Brett.” He wriggled his fingers at me. “Not many to choose from. Which one do you think?” He gasped, as if something had just occurred to him. “Maybe…I was going to tell him something about…” He lowered his voice to just above a whisper. “Your dad.”

That was it; the last straw. I lost it. “Fuck you, Theo!” I threw a punch, which he ducked, laughing.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on here?” Mr. Yikamura said, bursting into the bathroom.

 

I got detention for a full week for that, and Theo got off completely free. In class, I tried to avoid Liam, but it was no use.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“Stay away from Theo.”

“What?”

“Stay away from Theo.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Just…stay away from him, okay?”

“Okay, I will…just…what happened?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

Liam sighed and folded back into his seat. I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the day.

 

 

<Audio file 185_Brett_04.07.17>

 **LIAM** : So? What happened?

 **BRETT** : (sigh) I went looking for him. I wanted to ask him what he was going to tell you.

 **LIAM** : And he said something that made you try to punch him in the face?

 **BRETT** : Yeah. (silence) A few years ago, my dad did something…not so good.

 **LIAM** : How not good?

 **BRETT** : Really not good. He…almost killed someone. By accident, though. He wouldn’t do that on purpose.

 **LIAM** : You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

 **BRETT** : He’s not so good with the anger management thing…got into an argument, and the next thing he knew, he’d almost killed the guy. He’s in a therapy group now, though.

 **LIAM** : It’s kinda ironic that you almost punched Theo because he threatened to tell me about your dad’s anger issues, isn’t it?

(pause, laughter) **BRETT** : Yeah, I guess it is, isn’t it?

 **LIAM** : It’s okay, you know? That he did that. I…I have anger issues myself.

 **BRETT** : Really?

 **LIAM** : Yeah, but I take medication for it.

 **BRETT** : I’ve never seen you get angry.

 **LIAM** : I try. Really hard. But please don’t try to –

 **BRETT** : It’s okay, I won’t. Promise.

 **LIAM** : Thanks. So…we were going to be doing this homework thing?

<End audio file 185_Brett_04.07.17>

 

“That was awesome. Thank you so much. This will really help with my studying.”

“That’s all good. Did you want to stay for dinner? You don’t have to pack up now.”

Liam hesitated, but eventually continued packing things into his backpack. “I really should go. Sorry, but after not being there for a week, mom wants to see me home every day.”

“Yeah. Fair enough.” I looked at him sideways. “Liam…if you want to…if you need to…you could stay here if things at home aren’t so good.”

“Thanks, Brett.” He paused again, just as he was about to open my bedroom door. “Brett, your dad…before he got help, did he ever hurt you?”

“No. Not me, not mom and not Lori.”

He nodded slowly. “Good. That’s…good.”

“Bye, Liam.”

“Bye.” It was strange how sad he sounded.

 

<Audio file_188_Liam_04.08.17>

 **LIAM** : That was the best thing ever. No one’s ever picked up on my dyslexia before. I didn’t think anyone would be so accepting of it, so accommodating. Maybe I should tell a teacher or two, make Brett’s job easier. I hadn’t expected to tell him about my IED, but it just kind of slipped out when he told me about his dad. I don’t know why, but I feel so safe around him, like he’d protect me from the world. I hope that’s true.

(pause)

Maybe I should tell him the truth about the scars…the cutting? Later maybe…

<End audio file_188_Liam_04.08.17>

 

<Audio file_189_Dad_04.08.17>

 **DAD** : Hey, son. Your mom was worried about you.

 **LIAM** : But she left you to stay up for me.

 **DAD** : Can you cut her some slack? She’s been trying.

 **LIAM** : Oh, and what about you? I haven’t seen you around either. She promised you’d be around more. Both of you.

 **DAD** : I’m sorry, Liam. I’ve been so busy with work.

 **LIAM** : (door slamming) I know.

 **DAD** : It’s past midnight.

 **LIAM** : I know. (long pause) I was studying with a friend.

 **DAD** : So you’re seeing Mason again?

 **LIAM** : No, I made a new friend. He came a few months ago.

 **DAD** : A new student in the middle of the school year?

 **LIAM** : I don’t know. He just turned up one day.

 **DAD** : So you’ve been safe?

 **LIAM** : Do you even care?

 **DAD** : Of course we do, we’re your parents, Liam.

 **LIAM** : (sigh) I’ve been okay. Safe.

 **DAD** : Okay. That’s good, Liam. As long as you’re safe. Can I give you a hug?

 **LIAM** : If you want.

 **DAD** : What do you want?

 **LIAM** : Time with you. For you to notice –

 **DAD** : Notice what?

 **LIAM** : Me.

 **DAD** : We do notice. I’ve noticed…your…Liam, I know you’ve been hurting yourself.

 **LIAM** : Then why didn’t you say anything?

 **DAD** : I didn’t think you wanted me to. Liam, why…why did you start?

 **LIAM** : I hoped you’d notice, try to do something about it. I’d hoped you’d care enough to ask. I’d hoped you’d _do_ something. I needed you to do something! (plate smashes) Why didn’t you do anything?

 **DAD** : Liam, Liam, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m here now. Just tell me how I can help. What do I do, Liam?

 **LIAM** : Just…notice…

 **DAD** : Okay. I will. I’ll notice.

 **MOM** : What’s going on? Liam?

 **DAD** : He’s having an episode. Come here and help me hold him?

 **MOM** : What if he –

 **DAD** : Come here and help me, Lauren.

 **MOM** : Okay.

 **LIAM** : (sniffs) Mom.

 **MOM** : I’m here. I’m here, baby.

 **LIAM** : Mom. Mom. Mom.

 **MOM** : Shh…shh…I’m here.

(long silence, except for crying)

 **MOM** : (whispers) We should take him up to bed.

 **DAD** : Yes, Lauren, we should.

Lauren, he was talking to me before the episode. I don’t know if you noticed it, but he started hurting himself three months ago.

 **MOM** : What? No, I hadn’t noticed.

 **DAD** : Look at this. (fabric rustles)

 **MOM** : (gasps) Oh, Liam. But why?

 **DAD** : He just wanted us to notice, Lauren. And we failed him. He needs us, love, and we need to be here for him. I’m taking a holiday from work, and so should you. We need family time.

 **MOM** : I didn’t notice…how did I not notice? Why didn’t you tell me? What happened? What happened to my little baby?

 **DAD** : I didn’t think he’d want me to tell you. Besides, I thought you’d noticed.

 **MOM** : Of course not! I would have done something.

 **DAD** : Let’s take this conversation to our room. Let him sleep.

<End audio file 189_Dad_04.08.17>

 

<Audio file 190_Mom and Dad_04.08.17>

 **MOM** : Good morning, Liam.

 **LIAM** : I thought you’d both be at work already.

 **MOM** : We took the day off. We want to spend the day with you.

 **DAD** : It _is_ Saturday, after all.

 **LIAM** : Is this because of last night?

 **MOM** : No, this is about keeping our promises. I’m sorry we haven’t really been around, sweetheart. We’ve been so busy, and you’ve been such a good –

 **LIAM** : I don’t want to spend the day with you because you feel guilty about not being here.

 **MOM** : Where are you going?

 **LIAM** : Out.

 **DAD** : Let him go, love.

 **MOM** : But we –

 **DAD** : Lauren.

 **MOM** : Okay…

<End audio file 190_Mom and Dad_04.08.17>

 

I heard a knock on the door, and opened it, expecting a door-to-door salesman or something. I wasn’t expecting to see Liam, crying.

“Liam? Is everything – “ Then I noticed the scars on his neck. “What are those?”

“What are what?” Liam sniffed.

“On your neck.”

Liam’s hand floated up to his neck. “Oh, I forgot to put on my scarf.”

There was a long pause, where neither of us said anything. My heart was beating like I’d just run a hundred yards. “Liam…”

“Can I come in?” He butted in.

“Yeah, of course. Just go on up to my room. I’ll be there in a sec.” I needed a drink of water so badly. My throat was sticking to the air I was breathing.

“Okay.”

As he walked up the stairs, I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, but my hands were shaking so much I dropped it. I swore softly before getting a towel from the downstairs bathroom and mopping up the mess.

“Brett? Are you okay?” I heard Liam call.

I swallowed, hoping my voice wasn’t shaking as much as my hands. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just dropped a glass. Don’t come down until I’ve cleaned it up.”

“Your hands are shaking.” Liam said from the doorway.

“I told you not to come down.”

“I’m wearing shoes.” Liam replied, stepping further into the kitchen. “I’ll be alright. Let me help.” He knelt next to me in a clear patch of floor and took hold of my trembling hand. “Brett?”

“I’m sorry. I just…” I lifted my hand to his cheek, then slid it down to his neck. “Liam…”

He closed his eyes, then pushed my hand away. “It’s okay. I stopped a few weeks ago.”

“A few weeks?” I know my voice broke. “Why?”

“Why what?” He asked in a closed-off sort of way.

“Why did you do it?”

“I don’t want to talk about that, Brett.”

I searched his face, but he wasn’t giving anything away. We cleaned up the glass in silence. It was only when we’d gotten up to my room that we spoke again.

“I left my other school because I was being bullied.” I started, barely a whisper. “They found out…I’m bisexual, and they didn’t really know what to do with that, I guess. So they beat me up if I tried to change at the same time as them, or even if I walked down the halls at the same time. The girls weren’t much better.”

I sat down and pulled up my pant legs to past my knee. “So I started this…I hoped someone would notice, but at the same time, I didn’t want anyone to know.” I sighed. “Then, about two and a half months ago, I took a bunch of pills, tried to kill myself. I didn’t…want to, not really. I just wanted it to stop, however I could get that to happen. I didn’t see any other way out.”

After I’d finished, I couldn’t bear to look at Liam. I couldn’t bear to have him look at me like my parents had for the month after it had happened.

“I started because I wanted my parents to notice me. They’re always so busy at work. I found out last night my step-dad had known all along, but he hadn’t said anything.” He sniffed, then started crying even harder. “They took the day off, to spend time with me. I got angry at them, but they just…let me go. Why do they keep doing that?”

I looked up and saw Liam curled in a ball on my bed. “What would you rather they do?” I asked in the gentlest voice I could muster. Liam just shrugged.

“C-care.”

“It sounds like they already do, Liam.”

“I – I _know_ they do. I just…need them to show it.”

I started rubbing his back. “Well, how about we go back there, hmm?”

“No, I don’t – “

“Liam.”

He choked on a sob. “Okay.”

Smoothing his hair back from his face, I called mom and asked her to give Liam and I a lift. She seemed surprised to see Liam in such a state, but she didn’t say anything. When we pulled up to Liam’s house, I was blown away. It was absolutely huge. Shaking myself, I knocked on the door, which was opened immediately by a crying woman I assumed to be Liam’s mother.

“Who are you?”

“Liam’s friend. He’s here. With me.”

She pushed past me and looked in the back, where Liam was. When she saw him, she made a strange noise in the back of her throat and tore open the door. She bundled him up and brought him inside. “Thank you.” She whispered as she passed me, then shut the door in my face.

“What was all that?” Mom asked me, and all I could do was shrug.

 

<Audio file_191_Mom and Dad_04.08.17>

 **MOM** : What happened? Are you okay?”

 **LIAM** : Yes, mom, I’m fine. I just needed some time.

 **MOM** : Well, we’d still like to spend the day with you, Liam. And not just because we feel bad. We want to be here for you.

 **LIAM** : Then why aren’t you?

 **MOM** : We’re trying, honey.

 **LIAM** : I don’t want to hear it, mom.

 **MOM** : No, don’t leave again!

 **LIAM** : Let go of me!

 **BRETT** : Liam? What’s going on?

 **LIAM** : Fuck off, Brett.

 **BRETT** : I heard you yelling. What’s - ?

 **LIAM** : Just fuck off! Get out!

 **BRETT** : Okay. Okay, fine.

 **MOM** : You shouldn’t yell like that. Isn’t he your friend?

 **LIAM** : I don’t want to talk to you, mom. (stomping upstairs, door slams)

<End audio file_191_Mom and Dad_04.08.17>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chopping up of these are probably weird, but I'm still working on bits of it, so I'm releasing them in chapters. I'll probably end up making it just one whole work later on, but this is how it is for now. :)


	5. Coming and Going

<Audio file _192_Brett_04.09.17>

(phone ringing)

 **BRETT** : …Liam?

 **LIAM** : I’m sorry. For yelling at you. I didn’t really…I forgot to take my medication yesterday. I shouldn’t do that. I just…I left home before –

 **BRETT** : Liam, you really scared me yesterday.

 **LIAM** : I…I’m sorry.

 **BRETT** : I’m not just talking about the yelling. The cuts, the crying, the…everything you did…terrified me. I wanted to call you all night, but I didn’t know what…if you wanted me to.

 **LIAM** : I’m sorry. I’m just…really, really sorry, Brett. I’m sorry.

 **BRETT** : I don’t want you to be sorry, Liam. I want to know how I can help…if I can help.

 **LIAM** : I don’t know how to be anything but sorry.

 **BRETT** : Then don’t be anything. Liam, I care about you. A lot. I want to help. So, if there’s ever anything I can do, just let me know. That’s how you make it up to me.

 **LIAM** : Okay. I will.

<End audio file_192_Brett_04.09.17>

 

It had been about a week since Liam yelled at me, and I couldn’t help it; I flinched any time I heard his voice.

“Brett, are you okay?”

I closed my eyes for a second, hoping it was all a dream. It wasn’t. “Yeah.”

“You’re avoiding me.”

“Am I?”

“Brett, please. I’m sure you’ve noticed I have no other friends. I’m not a bad person. Besides, I thought you wanted to help.”

Shame spread through my chest like I’d just been hit by an arrow. “I’m sorry.” I whispered. “My dad used to yell at me like that…it just brought back…unpleasant memories.” I didn’t say anything about how my sister would yell right back until both of them got hoarse. The screaming matches could go on for hours.

Liam narrowed his eyes at me, crossing his arms over his chest. Heaving a sigh, he spoke. “Can you help me?” My heart leapt at the words; Liam didn’t seem like the type to ask for help very often.

“Of course.”

Liam smiled and held up the books we were supposed to be reading for English. “Have you read any of these yet?”

I smiled right back at him. “No.”

 

The rest of the evening was spent reading, right up until mom called us down for dinner. My throat scratched, and my voice was hoarse. I mostly drank because eating kind of hurt.

“Are you alright, Brett?”

“Hmmm.” I said, nodding, trying not to actually use my voice.

Liam came to my rescue. “He’s been reading books for English to me.”

“Why don’t you read sometimes?”

I got suddenly nervous; what if Liam went off right – “I can’t. Dyslexic.” I blinked in surprise; it had taken me weeks of getting to know him and a strategic and subtle test to get him to open up, and he’d just bluntly stated it. The shock must have been clear on my face because Liam laughed.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Mom turned to me. “That’s very sweet of you to do that for him, darling.” I just smiled back at her.

“Yeah, I was really grateful. I’ve been struggling through for ages.” Liam added, smiling at me.

I got the distinct feeling he was trying to say something very pointed, but I completely missed it, so I sort of smiled blankly at him.

 

<Audio file 226_Liam_04.18.17>

 **LIAM** : I keep listening to Brett reading me those English books. His voice just soothes me. I listened to them just before bed and fell asleep listening to his voice. Sometimes, when the book was funny, he laughed, and I can’t stop replaying it. He sounds so…full of life. It’s refreshing. I wish I could be like that.

 

<End audio file 226_Liam_04.18.17>

 

I woke up knowing my voice would be gone. My throat was awfully sore, and when I went downstairs, mom sent me right back up to bed. “No way are you going to school looking that sick, Brett. Bed.”

Grateful for a reason not to have to go to school, I slunk back upstairs and slid under my blankets, which were still warm. My head pounded whenever I tried to sit up, so I did my best to lie down for most of the day, sleeping.

 

Around four, Liam came and sat with me. When he got up to my room, his expression changed to a light frown. “I’m sorry. You’re sick because of me.”

I shrugged. “I’ve been coming down with this for a while. Felt it at the back of my throat for that past few days.”

Liam smiled. “I’ll pretend I believe you.” There was a companionable silence for a few minutes while Liam looked around my room, and I started to drift off. “How are you doing?” He asked finally.

“I feel…better than this morning, but still terrible.”

“…You look terrible.” Liam pointed out with a smile.

I was so tired, I could barely bring myself to swat at him with my hand. I saw Liam frown out of the corner of my eye. “You’re really not doing well, are you? I’ll let you get some –” He stood up to go, but I grabbed his arm.

“Don’t go? I’m sorry if you get sick, I just…”

“Need some company?” Liam nodded. “I get that.” He hesitated, but eventually sat on the edge of the bed. After a moment, he flitted to my collection of DVDs. I groaned, and he chuckled. “I’ll play it low.” He assured me. Selecting one, he played around until he figured out how to work the DVD player. True to his word, he turned the volume all the way down and came back to sit on my bed with the remote.

He didn’t need to ask me to shuffle over; I scooted to the left side of the bed, closer to the wall, so he’d have more room if he wanted to lie down with me. I had noticed before that he never took his shoes off when he came indoors like I did. Whenever I saw him with shoes on indoors, I wondered whether he did the same thing at home.

Sitting on the side of my bed, he took his shoes off and placed them neatly at the head, near the wall, and there could be on doubt about it; he did that every night. He lay down on top of the blankets, legs extended, arms folded across his chest.

I could barely keep my eyes open during the opening credits of whatever it was we were watching. By the time the title screen came up, my eyes were closed.

 

I was woken by a phone ringing, really close by. Confused, I looked around to see where the phone was; it wasn’t my ringtone. The phone stopped ringing and I heard Liam’s voice answer the call.

“Right.” I whispered. He must have dozed off with me, because he sounded tired and harrassed. I looked over at my alarm clock and saw it was only ten o’clock. Suddenly hungry, I got out of bed and went into the kitchen. I was also kind of going there so I wouldn’t hear Liam’s call. Even though I was curious, I wasn’t going to invade his privacy.

“Hey, honey.” Mom said, coming over and kissing my cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” I croaked at her, and she laughed.

“Take these, they’ll help with your throat.”

I knew she’d gotten the lozenges just for me, today. “Mom…”

“It’s okay. We can afford some throat lozenges.” She sounded upset.

I smiled weakly, wishing I’d started looking for work the second I’d turned fourteen. Resolutely, I promised myself I would start looking the second I got better. “Thanks, mom.”

She smiled back at me, but it was water-thin. Not having to feed Lori meant we could afford a few luxuries, but non-necessary medication was not one of those luxuries. Conditioner was.

Liam came down the stairs and smiled at me. “You’re up. Feeling better?”

“Much, thanks.”

Liam nodded and looked around awkwardly. “Hungry?” Mom asked kindly and Liam nodded vigorously.

“Yes, thanks.”

She smiled brightly at him. “Help me get dinner ready?”

“Sure.” Both Liam and I said at the same time, and we all laughed.

“We can both help. What do you need us to do?”

Mom had us chop up the vegetables while she made the cheese sauce and pasta. I wasn’t particularly surprised to see Liam knew his way around a kitchen. It was sad to think about how much time he must spend at home alone.

We all ate dinner together, and I was glad to see that Liam looked happy. He smiled and talked while we ate, and afterwards, he helped wash the dishes.

“I should go home.” Liam said, looking pained to even think about it. I really did feel bad for him, having to go back to a house where he was never happy.

I wanted to stop him, have some reason for him to stay, but I had nothing. My shortfall saw me watching Liam gather his schoolbag sadly and leave with hunched shoulders. “See you tomorrow.”

 

<Audio file 232_Liam_04.18.17>

 **LIAM** : Why did I do that? Why did I leave? Why am I still doing what mom tells me? I wish I could have stayed, but would they even want me? I’m so tired of all this. I’m so tired of feeling like this.

I need it all to stop.

<End audio file 232_Liam_04.18.17>

 

<Audio file 233_Mom and Dad_04.19.17>

 **MOM** : Hey, Liam. You’re home late.

 **DAD** : We’re really sorry, Liam, but something’s come up at work. One of our colleagues found something that might help in curing some forms of lung cancer. It’s really, really, really big. We really need to go and help with the research. We mightn’t be back for a few days.

 **LIAM** : It’s okay. I get it. Really big.

 **MOM** : We really are so sorry, honey. I know you’ve been wanting us around more…needing us around more, but…

 **DAD** : We can maybe –

 **LIAM** : No, don’t worry about it. Just go.

 **DAD** : Liam, please, this isn’t our fault. We just –

 **LIAM** : I don’t care! Just go.

(footsteps, door slams)

Why? Why do they have to do this to me?

(sheets slide, crying until silence)

<End audio file 233_Mom and Dad_04.19.17>


	6. Chapter 6

<Audio file 236_Brett_04.20.17>

**BRETT** : Hey, Liam. Did you want to come over today?

**LIAM** : I don’t know. I was going to ask another of my friends over.

**BRETT** : Maybe I could meet him? Or her?

**LIAM** : No, I haven’t spent time with him in ages. I think I should spend time with just him.

**BRETT** : Okay. (long pause) Liam, are you okay?

**LIAM** : My parents were called back to work. It’ll take a few days.

**BRETT** : Do you want to stay with me until they come back?

**LIAM** : No, I’ll be okay.

**BRETT** : …Okay.

<End audio file 236_Brett_04.20.17>

 

I saw Liam the next day, and knew instantly that he hadn’t had his friend over. He was wearing long sleeves which he kept pulling down. I cursed myself for not going over and checking on him; I had been debating whether to all night.

“Liam.” I said as I sat down next to him. “Please come stay with me.”

Liam only shut me out, pretending I wasn’t there. I got the message and let him be, even though I was so worried about him I could barely think about anything else. All day, concentrating on my classes was a futile exercise.

 

I didn’t see Liam again until the next Tuesday. I suspected he’d skipped school altogether. The relief I felt at seeing him alive was palpable.

“God, Liam. Being your friend is going to see me into an early grave.”

Liam turned his face to me, and I immediately regretted joking. He looked like hell. His cheeks were spattered with young facial hair, his eyes were red and puffy, with dark rings underneath them. I saw him swallow before he pitched forward and leant into me. It looked like he was half-dead.

If I had wanted to, I probably could have picked him up without any effort. “Can I stay?” Liam whispered with a voice that was completely cracked.

“Can I check you over?”

Liam smiled a little. “Don’t think I forgot you’re bisexual, Brett. You trying to get me naked?”

“No, I just want to make sure you’re physically okay, even if you aren’t emotionally.”

“Okay.”

I led him upstairs, walking behind him, hoping to catch him if he fell. Amazingly, he didn’t fall on the way up, but he did collapse on my bed as soon as we got there.

“Alright. Sit up.”

Heart pounding, I watched as Liam sluggishly lifted his torso and turned it towards me. I checked his face for any signs of aversion before I touched him, but he just looked sleepy. Slowly, I lifted his shirt up and over his head, then folded it beside him. I tried to stop my hands from shaking, but it was no use. I was so afraid that I would find signs of drugs, or…I didn’t even know what.

Taking his wrists in my hands, I turned his arms over and looked them over. I was relieved to find that he hadn’t been shooting heroine, but he had fresh cuts on both arms. My heart sank down into my belly.

“I miss them.” Liam said, and his voice startled me so much I jumped.

“Yeah. Can’t you go and see them?”

Liam shook his head sadly. “They’re totally engrossed.” Tears squeezed out from behind his closed eyelids. “They haven’t even texted me.”

I had to fight the urge to kiss him then. He didn’t need a boyfriend; he needed his parents. “I’m so sorry, Liam.” I said eventually.

Liam shrugged, then winced.

“What was that? Why did you wince?”

Knitting his hands together, Liam pressed his lips firmly shut.

“Liam?”

He looked away from me. “Got into a fight.” He said, barely loud enough for me to hear.

We both sat in silence for a while. “Where does it hurt?”

“Left shoulder.”

I looked there, but all I could see was some minor bruising. I guessed he must have torn something. “It looks okay. Is there anything else that hurts?”

Liam thought for a few seconds before shaking his head. I breathed a sigh of relief. Still, I looked into his eyes and examined the rest of his chest and back. I got a torch and shone it into his eyes, making sure that his pupils dilated right.

“Where are your parents?” Liam asked, seemingly coming back to his senses as he slipped his shirt back on.

“Gone to see Lori.”

Liam nodded slowly. A long silence followed until Liam finally slid off my bed to sit on the floor. “Before, when you asked what I’d gone to ask Theo to do…” Liam said softly, looking away from me.

After an over-long pause, I finally piped up. “Liam, you don’t have to tell me. It’s okay.”

“No, I…I want to. It’s just…hard.”

I sighed and nodded. “Well, take your time, okay?”

“Okay.”

We played some card and board games for a few hours before he said anything about it again.

“I was going to ask him to fuck me senseless. But he was such an arsehole, I came to my senses before I even asked.” He was looking away from me again, as though he was ashamed of it, and his arms were crossed protectively across his chest.

“Why did you want him to do that, Liam?” He shrugged, then shook his head. “Liam, I know you know why. Please try.”

“For him to see.”

“The cuts?”

He nodded slowly, sadly. “I needed someone to see them…and my parents weren’t”

“Why Theo?”

His voice was barely audible when he answered. “Because I knew he’d say yes.”

“What did you think would happen? When he saw the scars?”

I thought I saw Liam shrug again, but then I noticed his shoulders were shaking slightly. He was crying. “I don’t know.” He whispered.

I gathered him into my arms, and he just sat there, crying, for what felt like hours. When the tears did finally stop, he didn’t move. “Liam?” I ventured gently, trying not to wake him if he was asleep.

He stirred a little. “Mm?”

“Are you okay?”

Liam let out a burst of bitter laughter that tore my insides apart. “Okay? No. I don’t even know what that is anymore. But I feel…better.”

“That’s good, Liam.” I said gently, shifting him a little to try to get feeling back into my legs.

“Sorry.” He said, and made to get up, but I wrapped my arms around him tighter.

“I don’t mind, Liam. Stay.”

He hesitated for a moment, shrugged, then settled back down. “I knew…” He whispered against my neck. “I knew that if we had sex, I’d have to take off my scarf, so he’d see.”

“Do you think Theo would have cared enough to say something? The Theo I know would have just used it against you later.”

I felt him swallow. “I know.” He sounded on the verge of tears again.

Suddenly, I felt awful. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s the truth.” Liam said with a shrug.

“I still shouldn’t have said it.”

Liam didn’t have anything to say to that. We just sat there for a while, only breathing. “Brett, does your dad scare you sometimes?”

The question was like a sucker-punch; totally unforeseen and painful. “I…” I floundered in my thoughts for a minute, trying to come up with excuses, but there were none. So I stayed silent. But I could see that the silence was his answer. His eyes softened and he snuggled into me.

“It’ll be okay, Brett. Parents aren’t forever.”

I didn’t have the heart to shatter that belief; parents left imprints on their young, whether they were there or not. I’d thought Liam would have recognised that, but apparently not.

“I miss them, though.”

“I know.” I whispered, and that was the last thing we got to say because sleep overtook us, and we curled up together on the floor, even without dinner.

 

When I woke up, Liam was gone. I looked downstairs, hoping he would be eating breakfast, but he wasn’t there. Pulling out my phone, I texted him, even though I knew there was little chance he would answer.

I left it half an hour before I began properly looking for him. Two hours later, my search became frantic. Another hour after that, I started calling him, hoping to hear his ringtone, and he let it ring out every time. I had a feeling he didn’t want to talk to me, to even see me, but I couldn’t help it; he’d looked so pale and starved…I couldn’t let him wander around like that.

Yet another hour went by before I finally found him sitting on a swing in a park somewhere in between his house and mine.

“Go away, Brett.” He said when he heard me coming up behind him.

I was not to be deterred. “Why do you keep running away?”

Liam sighed, scuffing his boots in the sand, tracing patterns idly. “It’s all I know. It’s what my parents do.” The next sigh came from deep within his soul. “I don’t _like_ doing it.”

Taking a deep breath, I sat on the swing next to him. “Liam, what’s going on?”

He turned his head away from me, out into the distance. Even his eyes were far away. “It hurts.” He said finally. “It hurts so much I can’t breathe. I want them here, with me, now.”

“What would you do if they were here now?”

Liam was doing a good job of looking anywhere other than me. “Probably be angry.” He said to the wind, which carried his voice all over the park. The words made him shrink back into himself. Finally, he turned to look at me. “I don’t want them to see me when I’m vulnerable, Brett, but you’re different…somehow. I want you to _know_. I’m confused by that. Confused and…scared, honestly. I don’t mean to lash out but…when I came back to my senses, realised how much I’d told you…I got so angry, I wanted to throttle you in your sleep.” He swallowed, obviously ashamed. “So I left.”

“Do you think it’s a bad thing to want to protect yourself?”

He shrugged half-heartedly. “Sometimes, maybe.”

“Liam, everybody copes differently. It’s okay that yours is a little different from mine. That doesn’t mean you’re weird or abnormal. You’re just you.”

Liam didn’t answer for a really long time, and when he did, he tried to change the topic. “I heard you got a job.”

“That’s exactly what I'm talking about, Liam.” I sighed and stood, knowing that he was just going to shut down if I pushed any further. “Come on. Let’s go get ice cream.” I held out my hand to him, and he took it with a sigh of his own.

“Okay.”

 

Ice cream turned out to not be such a great idea. Liam eventually opened up to me about being lactose intolerant just as we were stepping up to the counter, so we had to turn around and went to get pies instead.

“Thanks, Brett.”

“For what?” I asked, genuinely confused; he’d paid for his own pie.

Liam smiled a little. “For not making a big deal about it. My friend from preschool, he would have gotten annoyed if I’d done that with him.”

I shrugged. “I know getting annoyed won’t solve anything. Sure, it would have been helpful if you’d said earlier, but I know you probably felt like you couldn’t. Like maybe I’d be mad or something.” Liam blushed and looked down at his hands, a gesture which made it clear to me that I was right. “Liam, you don’t have to be ashamed of your faults.”

Suddenly, something about Liam’s behaviour changed. “Can we go?”

Blinking in surprise, I agreed. So, twenty minutes later, we were back in my room.

“I think I should just go.” Liam said with an icy edge to his voice.

“No, Liam, please stay. What’s going on? You know I want to – “

“Help, yeah, I know. Can you just…get out of my face about it?”

I took a step back from him and let him walk out the door. This irritability had to be because I’d overstepped in some way, but I had no idea where the problem was. I figured he might tell me in time…maybe not, though. Not that it really mattered – I just wanted him to feel like he could trust me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one might not be for a while because I want each chapter to be about 2000 words, but after this, I have 0, so please be patient. Hopefully it comes soon, but I'm not sure.   
> Thanks everyone for reading, commenting and leaving kudos.

<Audio file 264_Brett_04.26.17>

**LIAM** : (sigh) I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have run away. God damn it, why do I always run away? Fuck. What should I do? Just thinking about going back home makes my stomach twist, and that pie was so good…when was the last time I ate before that? Thursday? Friday? Either way, I can’t sleep on the streets again – getting too cold.

Stop turning in circles, make a decision. Come on, Liam, you can do better than this…

I can do better than this.

(footsteps running)

**BRETT** : Liam, wait! Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?

**LIAM** : …No…t really.

**BRETT** : Come stay with me again.

**LIAM** : I…I can’t. What if mom and dad come home? I’ve spent too long away.

**BRETT** : …(takes breath, lets it go)

**LIAM** : …Do you…want to come with me? Stay at mine?

**BRETT** : I’d love to, Liam.

(DELETED AUDIO)

**BRETT** : Your house is so freaking big, Liam. Why do you even need all this space for three people?

**LIAM** : We don’t. Besides, this isn’t really our house. Grandma still owns it, has it signed in grandad’s name, but she’s the one who runs the accounts.

**BRETT** : Where is she?

**LIAM** : Out on the beach somewhere. Probably France or Australia or something. Then again, it is April. Maybe she’s in Japan. She likes to watch the sakura trees bloom.

**BRETT** : You speak any?

**LIAM** : Japanese? I guess a little. Do you speak any other languages?

**BRETT** : A little bit of French, actually. My great grandad taught me when he was still alive. Of course, I’ve forgotten most of it now because it was ages ago, but I’d kind of like to start learning again.

**LIAM** : Then you definitely should. Mom likes it when I speak Japanese; says it helps with my ‘cultural understanding’ or something.

**BRETT** : What does your mom do?

**LIAM** : Oh, she used to be a plumber, actually, if you can believe it, but now she works with all different types of medication – experimenting and stuff.

**BRETT** : Did she always want to do that?

**LIAM** : Yeah, she did, but…she didn’t have the money. Learning plumbing cost less than learning science, so she did that so she could earn the money, but then she got pregnant.

**BRETT** : I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.

**LIAM** : No, it’s okay. I just…from what mom tells me, I’m lucky dad didn’t stick around.

**BRETT** : I’m sorry, Liam. That’s really shitty. I mean, even though we don’t have the best relationship, I’m glad I have my dad.

**LIAM** : Yeah. I was surprised when you told me about him, you know? He didn’t really seem…sorry, I shouldn’t do that.

**BRETT** : Do what?

**LIAM** : Assume I know who someone is just from seeing them once. You know him better. You’ve lived through…that stuff.

**BRETT** : Thanks, Liam.

**LIAM** : For what?

**BRETT** : For not judging.

**LIAM** : Dude, my parents are never around and I have anger issues. Who _am_ I to judge?

**BRETT** : True. That kind of reminds me. How many days has it been since you heard from your parents?

**LIAM** : …

A week.

**BRETT** : That’s…how many times have you been at home alone for more than a few days?

**LIAM** : Too many to count.

**BRETT** : Since when?

**LIAM** : I think I was twelve when they first left me overnight. It just got longer after that, though. ‘Just for tomorrow, then we’ll be here, I promise.’

‘Two nights away, and when we get back, we’ll all go to the movies and play board games, all weekend.’

I’m pretty sure it was on my thirteenth birthday that they left me for four days. I lost it when they got back, trashed the house and everything in it. But they didn’t say anything. They just picked up all the pieces, bought new stuff, and acted like it had never happened.

**BRETT** : Liam…

**LIAM** : Yeah? What?

**BRETT** : Maybe you should let go of the handrail?

**LIAM** : Why?

**BRETT** : Well, you’re…uh…probably gonna bend it.

**LIAM** : Oh, shit. Thanks.

**BRETT** : You’re…really strong.

**LIAM** : Yeah, I play lacrosse. My step-dad taught me.

**BRETT** : Oh, cool. I play too.

**LIAM** : We should go on the team when the season comes around.

**BRETT** : Definitely.

**LIAM** : Oh, we’re here.

<End audio log 264_Brett_04.26.17>

 

Just like the first time, I was blown away by the sheer size of the place. The living, dining room and kitchen were all one open plane on the bottom floor, which held expensive couches, thick carpets, a huge TV screen, an XBOX, an enormous wooden table and industry-standard stainless steel benches.

“Holy shit.”

Liam blushed and tried to pass through as quickly as possible. I followed as quickly as I could. The upper floor was a large circular room with other rooms coming off it in all directions. A few were bedrooms, another was a bathroom, but there were a couple of closed doors that I couldn’t determine the purpose of.

When I entered Liam’s room, his expression was stormy.

“What’s wrong?”

“Finished gawping at everything?”

“Liam, I’ve never been in anything so nice in my life. Can’t I be just a little amazed?”

“No.” Liam snapped, his voice like a whip. “Did you forget that _this_ – all of this – is what causes my parents to never be around?”

I sighed. “Yeah, I know. But your problems aren’t what I’m ‘gawping at’. I’m just…how do three people need all this space? I mean, my aunt lives in a house a third of this size and it can hold up to ten people.”

Liam still looked angry, just less so. “Fine.”

“Look, Liam, I’m sorry, okay?”

“Fine.” He said again, tersely.

We played some games on his PlayStation, but he seemed to just want to go to bed, so we ordered pizza on my insistence, then just went to bed.

 

When I woke up the next morning, Liam was gone. “Liam?” I called, hoping we weren’t going to have a repeat of yesterday.

“Down here.” Liam called back, and I sighed in relief.

“What are you doing up al-“

“Do you want this?” Liam snapped. He was sitting at the kitchen table, unopened Xbox box in front of him.

“Wh-what?”

Liam kept his body turned away from me. “Mom came home.” He replied bitterly. “And you know what’s really fucked up about all this?”

I remained silent.

“What’s really fucked up is that she saw us sleeping. She went up and she saw us sleeping, and her response was to leave a note, _this_ ” – he shoved the box – “and left.”

Scared, I tried to stay as still as possible. Liam looked over at me finally and snorted. “What?”

“Am I okay to come closer?” I asked slowly, still not moving anywhere.

Liam shrugged. “Do what you want. Why would I care?”

“Liam…”

“I’m going out.” Liam announced, standing and stalking towards the front door. I noticed that he had already put his shoes on.

Suddenly spurred into motion, I moved to block his path. “Liam, I don’t care if you punch me in the face, but you need to stop this. Stop running away.”

Liam glared up at me, stormy. “Yeah, well, I’m about to punch _something_ and it might come as a surprise, but I don’t want to punch you.”

“It doesn’t. Liam, you’re not a bad person. I know you don’t want to hurt people, least of all your parents, but…”

He looked confused for a second, then scowled at me. “Okay, what is with you, dude?”

I was taken aback. “What? What do you mean?”

“Well, one day, you tell me that whatever way I have of coping is fine, but the next, you tell me I can’t keep running away. I don’t know how many times I can tell you this, Brett, but running away _is_ how I cope. So just let me go. I have nothing else, nothing better to do.”

With that, Liam shouldered his way past me and left the house. I was completely stunned; he was right, of course, and I was ashamed that I had treated him like that. Who was I to talk to him about running away anyway? Hadn’t I done the same thing?

Distracted, I picked up the note on top of the Xbox.

_Hi Liam,_

_Sorry we haven’t really been around sweetheart. We’ve just been so busy with work. This is really important work. Please understand._

_I’m really glad to see you have a friend over. You should introduce us when we get back._

_We’re really sorry. Happy Birthday, love mom. xxx_

I winced. Of course. It’s a birthday present. I decide not to go after Liam, instead deciding to find a lactose-free cake to bake. It turns out that you just make a cake with lactose-free milk and butter or oil, which he had in the fridge.

 

Liam came back around lunch time. He looked really sleepy and kind of sore. “What’s that?” He asked, eyeing the baked good suspiciously.

“Birthday cake.” I said, smiling.

He narrowed his eyes at me, then looked past me to the note. Pursing his lips, he went over and burnt it, using a lighter he had in his pocket. “I’m not hungry.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even really mean to read it, Liam. I – “

“I don’t care.” He cut me off without turning around. “I already ate anyway.” He went upstairs, and I heard the shower turn on.

When he came back down, he seemed a little more comfortable. “Sorry.” He mumbled before taking a knife and cutting himself a piece of cake. “Do you want some too?”

“Nah, that’s alright. I’m making dinner now anyway. But feel free to have some cake now – it’s your birthday.”

Liam smiled and disappeared upstairs.

 

<Audio file 270_Liam_04.27.17>

**LIAM** : Of course I can have cake, it’s my birthday. But damn, I’m sorry I had sex with that random guy. Seeing him in the kitchen…damn. Can he _get_ any hotter?

This is really great cake.

(sigh) I know I should be nicer to him. I mean, I’m sure he’s just trying to be nice to me, but…how can I forgive him calling my coping mechanisms ‘faults’?

**BRETT** : Liam, dinner’s ready!

**LIAM** : Coming!

<End audio file 270_Liam_04.27.17>

 

<Audio file 271_Brett_04.27.17>

**BRETT** : Hey. How was the cake?

**LIAM** : Really good, thanks. Where did you learn to cook like that?

**BRETT** : At my aunt’s. And my old school. I used to take cooking classes there, but I can’t here; they don’t have the option.

**LIAM** : What’s your favourite thing to make?

**BRETT** : This, actually. Quiche.

**LIAM** : Quiche?

**BRETT** : Yeah. Never had quiche before?

**LIAM** : No. What is it?

**BRETT** : It’s kind of like an omelette that you bake. Eggs, milk, bacon, onion, any other vegetables you want, then you just put it in the oven. Really easy, but there are so many variations that it keeps it interesting.

**LIAM** : Wow. Sounds like I’m going to have to try it myself.

**BRETT** : What do you normally do for meals?

**LIAM** : Some form of pasta, or a frozen meal. Sometimes a stir-fry. Nothing so diverse in flavour in any case.

**BRETT** : Maybe I could teach you some things?

**LIAM** : Yeah, maybe. I’d like that.

**BRETT** : Liam…

**LIAM** : Yeah, what?

**BRETT** : Would it…would it be okay if, when I leave, I took your knives? All the sharp things?

(long silence)

**LIAM** : (sigh) Okay.

**BRETT** : Thank you. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just…

**LIAM** : No, it’s okay, I get it.

**BRETT** : I’m sorry.

**LIAM** : Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.

**BRETT** : I’m sorry you’re here alone. I’m sorry I even have to ask. I’m sorry you feel like that’s your only solution.

**LIAM** : What other choice do I have?

**BRETT** : Do you have any other friends, Liam? Anyone to stay with?

**LIAM** : That’s my other option? What about mom and dad coming home?

**BRETT** : You can’t change them, can’t force them into coming home, and I’m sorry to say this, but nothing you do can bring them back here. I know that sucks, but –

**LIAM** : I know. I know that, but I still hope I can…I hope they care more about _me_ than their work.

**BRETT** : I can’t say whether they do or don’t, Liam, but remember you have people around you who do care about you.

**LIAM** : Like you?

**BRETT** : Yeah. Or that other guy you keep talking about.

**LIAM** : Can we talk about something else?

**BRETT** : Okay. What do you want to talk about, then?

**LIAM** : …I have a collection of Pokémon cards…

**BRETT** : Awesome. Lead on.

<End audio file 271_Brett_04.27.17>


	8. Chapter 8

Three hours later, I left with a bag containing all of Liam’s sharp objects, leaving him with instructions to call me if he needed anything. He said he would, but I was a little sceptical.

My walk home was probably unnecessary, but I hadn’t received my first pay check yet, and I wanted to save the money mom had given me in case their car broke down and they took a little longer than usual. The meal away from home alone saved me about twenty dollars, and I was grateful for it.

I texted Liam when I got home, just letting him know that I was home safe and would be there if he needed me. He texted back to say ‘cool’, which I think was his polite way of saying ‘thanks, but I don’t care’.

The rest of my evening was spent pretty much like any other until I got a phone call from mom.

 

<Audio file 274_Liam_04.28.17>

 **LIAM** : Ugh, how do I run out of food so quickly? I probably should have eaten that quiche Brett made me slower, but it was so good. Maybe I actually should eat more vegetables?

Wait…why is the window open? Did I leave it open?

(keys jangle)

Hello? Is anyone here?

(distant moans)

Hello?

(door opens)

Brett?

 **BRETT** : Hi, Liam.

 **LIAM** : What are you doing here?

 **BRETT** : I can’t go home.

 **LIAM** : Why not?

 **BRETT** : (sniffs)

 **LIAM** : Are you…are you _drunk_?

 **BRETT** : Yeah.

 **LIAM** : …Why?

 **BRETT** : Lori’s coming home.

 **LIAM** : Isn’t that…a good thing?

 **BRETT** : I guess, but… (sigh) she’s coming home because she kept getting into fights at school. Her teachers just couldn’t handle it anymore.

 **LIAM** : Does…she hurt you?

 **BRETT** : She used to, but she’s been away so long I don’t know if she would anymore.

 **LIAM** : How long?

 **BRETT** : About four years now. I haven’t seen her since we left.

 **LIAM** : …So you’re scared?

 **BRETT** : (laughs (a little hysterically)) Yeah, terrified.

 **LIAM** : Why get drunk then?

 **BRETT** : Lori and my dad, together, they can scream all night.

 **LIAM** : Where did you get the alcohol?

 **BRETT** : (laughs) Do you really need to ask?

 **LIAM** : What did he make you do?

 **BRETT** : Tell him something about you. I guess he’s not all that into fucking me.

 **LIAM** : And you told him something?

 **BRETT** : Relax, dude, I just told him you’re lactose intolerant. He was seriously pissed off, but we’d already made a deal. Maybe don’t eat anything suspicious-looking at school for a while, though.

 **LIAM** : Thanks. (footsteps)

 **BRETT** : What? Where are you going?

 **LIAM** : (tap runs) To get you some water.

 **BRETT** : Oh. Sorry.

 **LIAM** : Why?

 **BRETT** : For any reason. For being here. For being drunk. For being a mess in general.

 **LIAM** : I’d say you’re less of a mess than me. (long silence) Do you think that…is there any chance that these scars go away? I’m not talking about the ones on my body. I’m talking about the ones inside us.

 **BRETT** : I sure hope so.

 **LIAM** : Drink the water, Brett. I’m going to have a shower. Maybe you’d like to have one after me?

 **BRETT** : Yeah, I’d like that.

<End audio file 274_Liam_04.28.17>

 

 

I woke up the next morning, having no idea what had happened the night before. Recognising Liam’s room, I realised what I must have done. I suddenly sat up, horrified for what I might have…

“Oh, you’re up.” Concern flashed across his face. “Woah, are you okay? You look white.”

“What did I do last night?”

Liam frowned. “You came here, I’m guessing through the window, then told me about Lori coming home. I went away to have a shower, but you’d passed out by the time I’d come back. I got you into bed, but with some difficulty. You are not light.”

“Sorry.” I said sheepishly, though relieved I hadn’t done anything I might have regretted.

“It’s all good. It seemed like you weren’t having a good time.”

“I wasn’t.” I picked at a loose thread on Liam’s sheet. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. What if she hasn’t changed?”

“I’m sure she has.”

“But she’s still been starting fights. What if she’s - ?”

“Stop.” Liam turned to me sharply and put his hands on my shoulders. “Is this worry going to change anything?”

“No.”

“Then stop worrying about it. You can’t do anything to effect the outcome, so just let it go. If anything happens, you can deal with it then.”

I looked down at him and tried to smile, but I was still so nervous, my stomach was twisting in knots. Or maybe I had a hangover. I couldn’t be too sure.

“Go have a shower. I’ll make us something for breakfast and we can go for a walk somewhere.” Liam said, gathering up some dirty clothes to go in the wash.

I did as I was instructed, marvelling at how clean Liam kept the house. Each room had minimal mess, as well as furniture, and everything was closed up in drawers or cabinets. Everything had its correct place, and I felt like a foreign object in my second-hand clothes and holey socks.

“Brett?” Liam’s voice came from behind me, and I turned, realising that I’d just stopped in the hallway and not moved for the last few minutes. “Are you okay?”

“Can I have a hug?”

Liam looked kind of startled, but agreed. It was a nice hug, lasting only a few seconds, but it allowed me time to shake myself and move down the hall and take a shower.

The whole way through breakfast, Liam was looking at me sideways. Eventually, it became too much.

“What?” I demanded, putting down my knife and fork.

“Look, I’m not trying to…undermine your masculinity or anything, but can I buy you some new clothes? Those look twenty years old.”

I bristled a little, but I knew what he was trying to do, so I tried to calm myself down a little. “I think I’m good.”

“Brett, please, how many shirts do you have? Shoes?”

“Enough.” I said, my voice strained.

“When was the last time you had a haircut?” He asked, eyes flicking up to look.

I wasn’t an idiot; I knew I should accept, but I just couldn’t. How could I? We weren’t dating or anything and –

“Stop thinking about it and let me buy you some new clothes. I don’t expect anything back. Besides, you’ve helped me enough as it is.” He blushed a little at that, and I felt myself soften. Of course he wanted to thank me for reading for him, for getting sick afterwards.

“Okay.” I finally agreed, going back to eating my breakfast.

Instantly, Liam’s manner brightened. “So, new shoes are a must, as well as some jeans, a couple of tops and a jacket that doesn’t have holes. Then a haircut, definitely.”

I felt myself begin to regret agreeing to this.

 

Four hours later, my regret was reaching its limit. We’d been walking around stores for ages, and my feet were aching. I’d lost count of how many stores we’d gone into, let alone how many things he’d made me try on. It felt like he was my boyfriend already.

So far, he’d purchased me a pair of boots, sneakers and dress shoes, two button-down shirts, three t-shirts and two tank tops, one pair of jeans and some khakis. We were now in the hair salon to get my haircut.

“Can we go after this, please?” I asked for what felt like the hundredth time. Liam just rolled his eyes at me.

“I want to get you one more thing.” Liam said finally, but he didn’t leave to go get it.

“I’ll go when you’re getting your hair cut and be back when you’re done.” He replied when I asked him.

“What is it then?”

“It’s a surprise.” He said with a smirk.

I was getting nervous when I was called up. Liam waved me goodbye as I was led away to a chair.

“Your boyfriend?” The lady asked with a smile as I sat down.

“I wish.” The black cape swished as she draped it around me. “He’s just a friend.”

The lady chuckled, then asked me what I wanted. Halfway through cutting my hair, Liam came back, looking very pleased with himself. I was beginning to get suspicious of that look.

 

 

<Audio file 275_Brett_04.29.17>

 **BRETT** : So what did you get?

 **LIAM** : A book. Well…a pamphlet, actually.

 **BRETT** : About what? Not trying to convert me to any kind of religions are you?

 **LIAM** : No. It’s…well, here.

 **BRETT** : _Meet and Greet; meet young gay, lesbian and bisexual teens._ ‘Book in advance, must be over sixteen. Support groups.’

Why give me this?

 **LIAM** : Well, I thought you might like to meet some other people who are…you know.

 **BRETT** : I don’t know, Liam. I’m kinda busy, and really not into going to groups.

 **LIAM** : If you’re nervous, I could go with you. One of my friends goes there.

 **BRETT** : Well…if you really want us to go…

 **LIAM** : It’s up to you, I just…

 **BRETT** : Liam?

 **LIAM** : Hmm?

 **BRETT** : ...Never mind.

 **LIAM** : O-kay? Well, you should definitely wear the new clothes I got for you on Monday.

 **BRETT** : Yeah, I will.

<End audio file 275_Brett_04.29.17>

 

 

After we parted ways, my head was swirling with questions. Why did he give me that pamphlet? Was he trying to drop a subtle hint? Was he just trying to be friendly? Did he know I only had him as a friend here? My head was exploding as I went through all the possibilities.

I also couldn’t believe I’d almost asked him of his sexual preferences. What would he have done if I _had_ asked? Blown up? Calmly told me? Shut down? What would I have done if he said he was straight? Or interested in guys, but not me?

The whole way home, I tried to stop myself from thinking about it, but it just kept going in loops. As the thoughts started to scream behind my eyes, I realised something; I was afraid. Afraid of what he thought of me, afraid that if he knew I was into him, he’d push me away, afraid that he’d end up just like those other people at my old school.

Trying to calm myself down some, I started to look through the bags of clothes and accessories Liam had bought me. How was I going to pay him back for all this? Did he expect me to? Was it all a gift? What was going on?

 

When I finally did get home – because I’d missed my stop twice – I was even more confused than I had been before. The list of questions had just kept growing and growing, and I thought I was going to burst. My chest hurt from breathing too fast, and I felt queasy and light-headed.

Opening the door, I decided that sitting down for a while might help, so I did. I wasn’t aware of how long I’d been sitting there when there was a knock at the door. In a state of shock, I got up and answered it.

“Yeah?” I asked, door open, not really seeing who it was.

“Are you okay?” I heard Liam’s voice through a tunnel, and blinked hard, trying to bring him into focus. “I texted you hours ago, seeing if you’d got home safe. You seemed kind of dazed when I left. Brett?” The warmth from Liam’s hands seeped into my biceps where he held me. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you want from me?”

“What?” I felt Liam lead me back inside, heard him close the door, but I was somewhere else entirely.

_Back at school, in the halls, filled with people, all looking at me, most with disgust, but also confusion._

_“What do you want from me?!” I yell at them, my voice seeming to echo in the silence. I can’t see anything; blood has started to fall into my eyes, having already soaked my eyebrows._

_Stumbling, falling over my own feet, I turn and try to push my way through the crowd. I fall over, and people laugh – I think. My head is swimming in murky water, distorting my senses. Something cold washes over me, making me gasp and shiver._

_“Where am I?” I ask the crowd of crows, gathered to feast on my remains. My memory flashes me an image that makes my insides turn to ice; a bottle of pills, lying empty on the bathroom sink. How long ago was that? Do I even remember why I did it? Am I going to remember this, the way I die?_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It finally happens, guys! They finally kiss!

<Audio file 277_Ambulance_04.29.17>

 **LIAM** : Yeah, hi, I need an ambulance or…something. I’m sorry, I just don’t know what’s happening.

 **OPERATOR** : Are you or people nearby in danger?

 **LIAM** : I don’t…think so?

 **OPERATOR** : What is your emergency?

 **LIAM** : Well, I’m not entirely sure. I think my friend’s having a mental breakdown?

 **OPERATOR** : What are they doing?

 **LIAM** : Uh, repeating a lot of half-coherent words. Shaking. He looks…really bad.

 **OPERATOR** : Alright. Do you know the address?

 **LIAM** : Yes. Twenty-two Fuller street in Riverside.

 **OPERATOR** : Okay, an ambulance will be at your location soon. Will you be alright if I hang up?

 **LIAM** : Yeah, I’ll be okay.

(hangs up)

Come on, Brett. Please be okay.

<End audio file 277_Ambulance_04.29.17>

 

<Audio file 278_Ambulance_04.29.17>

 **NURSE 1** : Where is the patient?

 **LIAM** : In here.

 **NURSE 1** : Seems stable, but still shaking. Can I get a blanket?

 **NURSE 2** : Can you take this in to her?

 **LIAM** : Yeah, sure.

 **BRETT** : (mumbles incoherently)

 **NURSE 1** : Seems to be suffering from hallucinations. Oh, thanks. Wrap it around his shoulders for me? Can you get the drug testing kit? Do you know if he’s used before?

 **LIAM** : Well…I don’t think that he’s…about three months ago, he took a bunch of pills in a suicide attempt, but I think they were just pain meds or something. I don’t know. I didn’t know him then.

 **NURSE 2** : Here you go. Do you want one for him too?

 **NURSE 1** : (pause) No, he’s good.

 **LIAM** : He didn’t really take anything, did he? I mean, he was fine when I saw him earlier today.

 **NURSE 1** : Taking drugs is a quick process, and they act quickly too.

 **NURSE 2** : Sorry, kid. Do you know anyone who might have slipped him something? Were you out drinking?

 **LIAM** : No, we’re both underage. We were just shopping. I got him some new clothes.

 **NURSE 1** : Oh, is he your boyfriend?

 **LIAM** : No, just a friend. I wanted to do something nice, to say thanks for helping me with my homework for the last month.

 **NURSE 2** : Oh, man, you’re that doctor’s kid, aren’t you? I just recognised you. He’s really nice. Dr. Geyer, isn’t it?

 **LIAM** : (sigh) Yep, that’s him.

 **NURSE 2** : Why is that bad?

 **LIAM** : Oh, I just haven’t seen him or mom in a few weeks. They had to go in and work on something.

 **NURSE 1** : Sorry to hear that. (beeping) Oh, it’s done. Huh, nothing. He’s completely clean.

 **LIAM** : (sigh) Thank god. What do we do now?

 **NURSE 1** : Take him to a hospital. He have a preference?

 **LIAM** : Take him to the one my dad works at, on the corner of Station street.

 **NURSE 2** : Okay.

<End audio file 278_Ambulance_04.29.17>

 

 

 

_The ambulances come for me, but I’m not sure who called them. Induced vomiting. My nose and eyes streaming, the back of my throat burning with acid._

_Where am I? What’s going on? I think repeatedly, unable to speak._

_Pumping my stomach, calling my parents. The hospital saying it’s covered by insurance – we’ll be okay. And I’m sorry. So sorry. I hadn’t even thought…_

_I needed it to stop. I just needed it to stop._

_Check-ups, suicide watch for weeks, the pitying looks – and the scared ones. I’m not dangerous, I want to tell them; it was their fault._

After my flashbacks, I fell asleep. Or at least, I think I did. All I remembered was blackness. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was Liam, curled up in a chair with his headphones on. He startled when he saw me move and hastened over.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

It took me a few tries to find my voice. “I just got freaked out.” Heart thudding in my chest, I looked up at Liam. “Are you…Liam, are you okay with me…being bi?”

“What? Of course I am. Is that what you were worried about?” Liam looked frantic.

“I’m okay now.” I tried to reassure him, but my voice was still weak from whatever they gave me. “Why am I in hospital?” I asked, suddenly aware of my surroundings.

Liam blusheed a little. “I was freaking out. You were making no sense, mumbling about things and shaking. I thought you were having a fit.”

“Just remembering.” I said sadly. “Remembering the day I…I took those pills. Or I think I was remembering it. It was all so fuzzy.”

“Maybe that’s for the best.” Liam said gently, hand on my arm. “It can’t have been pleasant.”

“It wasn’t.” My voice was a hoarse whisper as I looked down at his hand. Slowly, his hand slipped down to fit in mine.

“It’ll be okay, Brett. I won’t hurt you. And I’m sure Lori won’t either.” Liam shifted uncomfortably. “I swear those chairs are made just to make anyone who sits in them feel miserable. Do you want a coffee or water or something? I’m going to get something to eat, but I’ve been told you’re not allowed to.” Liam winced. “Sorry, but I had to tell them about you taking those pills before, and they induced vomiting, just in case. It didn’t…it didn’t look like fun.”

“Just some water would be really nice, thanks.”

I watched as Liam left, then spat acidic spittle into the flowers by my bed. I’d already known about the induced vomiting from the taste at the back of my throat. Sighing, I sat back in the bed and tried not to think about the bills this was surely going to rack up. I knew for a fact that I wasn’t covered anymore.

Liam came back barely minutes later. “Hey, here you go.”

“Thanks.” I looked at his empty hands. “Thought you were going to get something for yourself.”

He shrugged. “I thought I’d wait until you could eat with me. Besides, it would be pretty mean if I started eating while you were hungry.”

“You should have gotten something. I’m sure it won’t be long before I can eat again.”

“You’re right about that.” A smooth, deep male voice said from the doorway.

“Dad.” Liam said, smiling.

“How are you feeling, Brett?” Dr. Geyer asked, giving Liam a quick hug as he walked into the room.

“Better.” I answered, feeling rather dazed again. “Sorry, I thought…am I in a public hospital?”

“No.” Liam steps in. “I asked them to bring you here, where I knew dad would be. We can curb your costs, and it was a good excuse to come and see mom and dad.”

“Not the best circumstances, I know, but I’m glad you came. We’re almost done here, Liam. We’ll be home soon.” His tone was apologetic, but I still saw Liam stiffen.

Sitting up a little, I placed my hand on his shoulder, and saw him relax. “That’s good. I’m looking forward to you being home.”

“We’ll do something for your birthday. What’s the date today?” Dr. Geyer said, looking at his watch. “Oh.” His face fell. “Sorry, Liam. Happy birthday for three days ago. I was just so busy, I lost track of time.”

“It’s fine.” Liam said, but his demeanour showed that it definitely wasn’t fine. He picked up my half-full glass. “I’ll go get you some more water.”

Dr. Geyer turned to go after his son, but I asked him to stay. “He really misses you, you know? He just feels like he can’t show you how much it gets to him.”

“He’s had it rough. His mom told me some of it, but he had to grow up really quickly so he could be there for her; to cook dinner while she was at work, do the dishes and washing. I’d hoped I could change that for him, but when I offered to hire a cleaner, he outright refused.” He sighed. “I hired one anyway, but he knew, started yelling at me. I’m ashamed to say I was afraid of him then.”

Dr. Geyer sat down in the chair Liam had been sleeping in, looking pained. “What does he want?”

“For you to be home, I guess.”

“But every time we are home, he runs away.”

I shrugged. “Look, I don’t know how to fix your relationship, but there’s a lot of issue there – too much to be swept away by just one or two days of being there for him.”

“I know you’re right, but we’re constantly short on staff. Not enough doctors means we’re constantly catching up. All of us are overworked.” He rubbed his face, which had at least four days’ worth of stubble. “I don’t know what to do.”

He looked up at me and chuckled. “And here I am asking a teenager for advice.”

“Be persistent and consistent.” I said, reciting what my dad had learnt from his anger management classes. It hadn’t really helped him, but maybe it could help here.

“Sounds like you’ve heard that line enough.” Dr. Geyer sighed. “Alright, I’ll give it a shot. Persistent and consistent.”

He left the room, still muttering to himself. Only a few seconds later, Liam returned.

“You okay?” I asked as he sat down, the cup now empty.

Liam sighed and threw the plastic cup in the bin. “Yeah, it’s alright. Not the first time he’s forgotten.”

“It still sucks.” I replied, even though my birthday had never been completely forgotten like that.

He sighed again, his breath rushing out of him so fast, I thought his lungs might come with it. “Yeah.” He looked around the room. “That chair is not comfortable. You mind if I get in there with you?”

I looked at him closer and saw the huge bags under his eyes. “Yeah, sure.” I said, moving over so he’d have enough room.

“Thanks.” He smiled, climbing in a little awkwardly because the bed was so narrow.

I could feel his heat seeping into my skin. We were almost touching in several different places, and even though I’d held him while we slept once before, this felt different somehow. For one, we were in a bed.

Liam tried to shift a little and almost fell onto the floor. “Woah!” He cried, arms flailing for something to hold onto. I reached out and caught his shoulder, pulling him back onto the mattress. “Thanks.” He breathed. Both of us then took stock of how close we were, and froze. “This is kind of awkward.” He said, and I realised that I’d begun to get another problem.

“Sorry.” I whispered, trying desperately to make it go away. It wasn’t working.

Liam laughed breathlessly, wriggling so he could turn over to face me. It was then that I saw he had one too. “Don’t worry about it.” He smiled sheepishly. “Maybe I should go home, though.”

Disappointed, but not wanting to push him, I agreed. He promised to visit me the next day and then left.

 

I dreamt about him that night.

_Soft hands paw at my body, even softer lips kissing all over my chest, stopping to lick and tease at my nipples. I look down and see Liam’s blonde hair, then his blue eyes as he flicks them up to me playfully._

_“What?” He says, laughter in his voice. “Not hard enough yet?” He gestures down to my pants, which are tight with the bulge of my erection. I hiss in surprise as he pets it with his hand._

_Longing for more friction, more contact, I push up, try to grind against him, but he only laughs at my efforts, pulling away from my lower half. I moan discontentedly, but me shushes me with his lips, pressing his own over mine._

_He goes back to kissing at my chest, as if trying to kiss my heart. He works his way down, past my navel, and –_

I woke up to a beeping sound. It was the sound of the heart monitor going crazy. A nurse swept into the room, and I had to reassure her it was just a nightmare, nothing to worry about. I sighed and slumped back onto the mattress.

 _And just when I was getting to the good part_ , I thought. I tried to go back to sleep, pick up where I’d left off, but it was gone. Huffing my annoyance, I rolled over and tried to dream of something equally nice.

 

 

<Audio file 281_Liam_05.01.17>

 **LIAM** : (sigh) Damn it. Why did my alarm have to go off? That was such a great dream. He’d been all over me. His hands on my face, my neck, my chest…god, I wonder what that would _actually_ feel like. To feel his lips on mine…

I should have kissed him yesterday. Damn, why did I hesitate? He was right there. And I’m pretty sure he likes me. And I sure as hell like him. What the hell is wrong with me? With anyone else, I would have attacked them outright. What’s so different about him?

(long pause with deep breathing)

Right. No matter what, today’s the day. I’m going to go in there, grab him, and kiss him. I’m going to do it.

<End audio file 281_Liam_05.01.17>

 

 

My parents had finally come back from their trip, bringing Lori with them, and now they were all in my hospital room, crowding the tiny space. They were asking me questions about what had happened when Liam burst into the room. Without pausing to look at his surroundings, he walked straight to the side of my bed where he kissed me.

He was breathing like he’d run the whole way, and I could see a vein in his neck pulsing quickly as he leaned over. It was probably the best kiss of my life, considering I’d only had two others before then, and neither had been so full of passion.


	10. Last Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short, but this is the last one, guys! Enjoy it while you can!

My parents stood stunned, my sister even more so, since she’d never even seen Liam before. I myself was pretty stunned, but was soon really getting into it. We’d both relaxed somewhat into the kiss, and his hands were on my chest, one of mine on his shoulder. The other was pinned a little awkwardly underneath him, but I didn’t mind.

When Liam pulled back, he was still panting, but his eyes stayed closed. “I’ve wanted that for so long, I just kept chickening out. And when I saw you in the kitchen…man, you were so hot.”

“Hi, Liam.” Mom said awkwardly from the corner of the room.

Liam’s eyes flew open, and he looked, startled, from my mother, to my father, and my sister. He started to flush immediately and started babbling. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’d just worked my way up to it so much on the way here, and I just –”

Smiling, I pulled Liam down to kiss me again, effectively silencing him.

“So you know him?” Lori asked, sounding disbelieving.

“Yeah, we do.” Dad replied, also in shock.

“Well, I’m confused.” Lori said, standing to walk out.

I broke the kiss. “No, wait. Lori, this is Liam. Liam, Lori. I…I’m sure you’ll get along.” Liam’s hand entangled in mine, and it was then that I noticed they’d been shaking. My heart was pounding in my chest, worried of what Lori would do.

 _Please like him_.

Lori glared at me, then turned her gaze to Liam, who shuddered visibly. “Fine. Tell me how you met.”

 

 

<Audio file 282_Brett’s Family_05.01.17>

 **LIAM** : …and he came up to talk to me. That’s it, really.

 **LORI** : So this was all of one month ago?

 **LIAM** : Was it? It felt like it went faster. I must have lost a couple of days…

 **LORI** : …Are you going to take care of him?

 **LIAM** : Of course. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.

 **LORI** : Alright, then. It seems like it’s something he wants, so…I approve.

 **BRETT** : Thanks, Lori. Liam, can I maybe come to your place tomorrow? We’ll talk then. I should be out by then. Come down here and give me a hug.

 **LIAM** : Bye, Brett. Have a good night.

 **BRETT** : You too.

(whispers) Liam, thanks for footing the bill.

 **LIAM** : (whispers) It wasn’t me, not really. My parents did.

 **BRETT** : (whispers) All the same, thank you.

<End audio file 282_Brett’s Family_05.01.17>

 

 

I knocked on Liam’s door softly, and was startled to see it opened by Liam’s mother.

“Oh, hello Brett. Come to work on homework have you? That’s very nice of you, to help him. He told me that he finally told someone about his dyslexia. He’s really closed off about that usually.” She turned to go back into the house. “Oh, come in, Brett. Don’t worry about taking your shoes off. Liam’s right through in the living room. He got up early and helped me clean the furniture and move it all around a little.”

I was somewhat startled by her cheerful mood, but was glad that she was finally home. Moving through to the lounge room, I saw that they had indeed changed around the orientation of the furniture.

“Hey, Liam.” I said, on my back foot. Liam glanced up and smiled.

“Hey Brett. Come up to my room.” He hopped off the couch and bounded up the stairs. I was happy to see him so happy, but I was also really confused.

We got up to his room, and as soon as he closed the door, he tried to kiss me, but I pulled away. Liam frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m…I’m just confused, Liam. Why are you so happy?”

“You don’t want me to be happy?”

“No, of course I do, Liam, I’m just…I want to know why.”

“Does it matter?”

I thought about it for a second; was this line of questioning really helping anything? Did it really matter why he was happy?

_But what if he’s happy just because he’s dating me? Things will still be bad for him here._

I sighed. “It matters to me, Liam. I’m just worried that…if it’s…if you’re happy _because_ of me…” My shoulders slumped. I didn’t really know what I was trying to say. “Are things going okay with your parents? Why was your mom so happy?”

Liam crossed his arms, pursing his lips. “She’s happy because I was nice to her this morning. You’re right, okay, I can’t run away from them, as much as I want to. I actually _do_ love them.”

“Of course you do, Liam. I never said you didn’t.” There was a tense silence, until I sighed. “Liam, I’m sorry. I wasn’t…I’m happy you’re happy, okay?”

Sighing, Liam pitched forward until his head was on my chest. “I know.” He whispered. “I just thought you’d be more…enthusiastic about it.”

“Be proud of you?” I asked carefully, and Liam looked up sharply before hastily averting his gaze. “I am, Liam. Proud of you.” I slipped my hand behind his neck, and he sighed, leaning back into my touch. “Liam, I’m proud you’re still here, that you’re not running from me right now. I stepped over the line, and I’m sorry, Liam.”

“Say my name again, Brett.” Liam whispered, licking his lips.

“Liam.”

“Again.” I hesitated, and his eyes flicked up to mine. “Please.”

“Liam.” I said again, this time with lust behind it.

He stepped in closer, pressed his lips to mine. “Again.”

Snaking an arm around his waist, I pulled him in closer still. “Liam.”

“Again,” spoken in a whisper, right against my lips.

My other hand came to cup his face. “Liam.”

His chest rose and fell quickly now, his breath leaving a ghost of his lips upon mine. “Brett.”

That was enough for me. I took control of his lips, pulling face closer to mine, tangling my hands in his hair, running them over his shoulders, holding him close, kissing down his throat, across his chest, journeying across the dips and rises of his abs. I revelled in the noises he made, in the sweetness of his sweat, in his scent. I dipped my tongue into his belly button and he giggled, pulling me up, back to his mouth.

I was kind of worried his mother might come in, but she was downstairs; too far away to hear Liam’s quiet moans and my gentle chuckles of delight.

“You’re perfect, Liam.” I pulled his phone out of his pocket. “You recording this?”

“Of course. I record everything.” Liam said, rolling his eyes.

I threw it across the room, aiming it at a hoodie discarded on the floor. “Well, forget it. I want you to remember this. All of it, not just how it sounds. Focus on me, Liam. Are you ready?”

“Hell yeah, I am.”

 

 

**PRESENT DAY**

<Audio file_Brett_03.12.21>

 **LIAM** : (whispers) Morning, Brett.

 **BRETT** : Oh, hey. Happy anniversary, Liam.

 **LIAM** : Happy anniversary. I have something planned.

 **BRETT** : Oh, well, so do I. A year since we got married, I wanted to do something equally monumental.

 **LIAM** : Me too.

 **BRETT** : So what’s yours?

 **LIAM** : I wanted to compile all my audio files of us. And show you some I never did before.

 **BRETT** : Liam, are you sure about that? I know you keep them really private…

 **LIAM** : I do, but that’s why I want to show you. It’s not like you’ll get all of them, but…I want you to hear the ones about…(swallows)…Theo. Specifically.

 **BRETT** : Oh, honey, did he come by again?

 **LIAM** : (quickly) No, no, I’m fine. We got a restraining order, remember? If he comes by again, I’ll call the cops on him. It’ll be fine. He’s not that stupid.

 **BRETT** : I can’t believe he’s still stalking us. We don’t know what he’s capable of. You shouldn’t put your trust in the police like that. I don’t trust them with your life.

 **LIAM** : Can we not talk about him?

 **BRETT** : Sure.

 **LIAM** : What was your ‘something planned’?

 **BRETT** : I wanted to share all of my diary entries I made about us. But I guess you beat me to that idea.

 **LIAM** : (snorts) I doubt it. I’m sure you came up with yours first. Besides, great minds think alike, right?

 **BRETT** : I think I like that assessment best.

 **LIAM** : Yeah?

 **BRETT** : Yeah.

 **LIAM** : (giggles) So now that’s settled, are you going to fuck me?

 **BRETT** : Oh, you bet. Come here.

<End audio file_Brett_03.12.21>


End file.
